ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
