If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
