He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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