Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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