Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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