im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
