Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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