Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
