I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
