He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
