Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
