K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize