Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
