I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize