Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
