hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I stole a fireplace last night.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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