went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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