Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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