dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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