I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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