she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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