You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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