I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize