If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
