I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize