Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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