You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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