I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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