It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
