you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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