he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
