I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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