I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
