How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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