I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
