I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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