Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
