Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
What a dumb baby whore.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
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