That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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