I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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