he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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