i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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