she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
