Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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