My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize