The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
