I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
