Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
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Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
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Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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