i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
