i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
