I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
What a dumb baby whore.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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