Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
