Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
