school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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