you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
