what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
