how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
