I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
