is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Randomize
