Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
