I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
