In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
