Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
