Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I can text with my tongue
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize