Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
