I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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