tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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